The teen years are very formative ones as many teens are still learning who they are and who they love. Here are some tips for your transgender teen – no matter who they like!
Being Supportive
Sex is everywhere and it’s often very girl-on-guy oriented – and it often includes transgender teens. Remind your teen that everyone develops differently and that it’s okay to take time to figure stuff out.
Teens get a lot of pressure to be different things: macho bro, prissy princess, jock, fashionista- and a lot of those personas have sexual connotations. Help your child feel comfortable in their own skin and with their own personality. Being yourself is awesome.
Make sure your teen has access to a lot of different resources – so whether they’re LGBTQ+ or not, they’ll know how to get the info they need.
Find a doctor who knows how to serve transgender teens ASAP. A healthcare provider who understands transgender health needs can help you make important health decisions that need to be made at this age, like whether to suppress the development of secondary sex characteristics.
Pregnancy Prevention
Basically, if one person has a sperm and one person produces eggs, a pregnancy can happen. Put pregnancy prevention on their radar if there’s a chance of a sperm and an egg meeting at some point. These pregnancy prevention tips are for those potential egg + sperm situations.
Ask them to use a condom every time and show them how to use one properly on something like a banana. Remind them that the “dual method” of using a condom plus birth control like an implant or the pill will help prevent both pregnancy and STDs! Double bonus!
Teens hear a lot of myths, so remind them of some of the basics: that pre-ejaculate can lead to pregnancy, the pull-out method isn’t the most effective, and a teen can still get pregnant while they have their period
Emphasize communications! Both people have a responsibility to engage in safer sex. Encourage them to talk openly about using condoms and another method of birth control like the pill or an IUD.
Reinforce the importance of having a birth control plan before having sex for the first time . Teens can get pregnant the first time they have intercourse.
Tell them that no birth control is 100% effective – other than complete abstinence. Help them learn how to be safe with sexual health.
Remind them that you are always here for questions, worries, or concerns. Offer that they can text you if they feel more comfortable.
STD Safety
Condoms are the best bet for preventing STDs. Using a dental dam can help prevent oral STDs.Get both items and show them how to use them during your conversation. Even if there’s no chance of pregnancy in their relationship, STDs are still a risk with any amount of sexual contact.
Have a deep conversation about STDs and being transgender. Transgender teens have higher STD rates, but issues like stigma and healthcare access play a big role. YOU can make a big difference by helping them connect with the resources they need.
Remind your teen that you are always here for questions or worries or concerns. Offer that they can text you if that would make them feel more comfortable.
Relationships
Share with them how important they are and that they should expect respect in relationships.
Talk to your child about how you knew that a person was a good choice for a partner. Talk about the qualities that make a good partner – respectful, honest, kind, funny, makes you feel good about yourself, share similar interests, etc.
Help your child know how important it is to understand when a partner says “No” that it means to stop the sexual activity immediately. Even if a partner has said yes in the past, no means to stop the activity immediately.
Tell your child that they should speak up for themselves and say “No” when they are uncomfortable, no matter how much pressure they are under.
Understand that sexual assault is a reality for lots of teens. Teens’ responses vary widely, but your support makes a big difference. Here are some resources for you as a parent.
Remind your child that having sex isn’t a goal or a badge of honor. They should be ready to have sex when they are ready, not because they feel like they should or they have to.
Share with your child this resource so they can read more about healthy relationships.
Refer your child to this article about how to be smart at parties and gatherings to protect themselves and friends.
Give your teen an out and explain that you are always there to pick them up – no questions asked – from a bad situation. Consider using “Plan X” in your family.
Remind your child that you are always here for questions, worries, or concerns. Offer that they can text you questions if that would make them feel more comfortable.
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